Apparently, I have writer's block

I'm sorry that I haven't been posting.  I have writer's block (of a fashion).  I want to write here at my blog.  I have a ton of ideas/words jumbled up in my brain but; I have other writing to do.  I am on the Gulf Coast of Mississippi and the BP fiasco damaged my business, tremendously.  I am in the midst of writing my final payment proposal.

If you, are one of those people, that believe the tragedy is over and everyone down here is a "spillionaire" I ask you to leave right now. Unless you live here, you haven't a clue.  AND, sometimes, not even then.  I'll wait for you to take your leave...



OK



I am having to be lawyer, scientist, and swami for this proposal.  I have researched as the events unfolded.  I have saved snapshots of articles and research as they have been published because they tend to disappear.  I have studied environmental law, politics, economics, biology, and geology. 

Now, I have to use my swami powers (NOT) to determine how long my business will be affected.  I can tell you now that we are still  feeling the affects.  Pre-spill, I did a lot of work for charter boat captains, long-line fishermen, as well as, recreational fishermen.  I have had next to no blue water reels/rods come in.  Those that have haven't been on working boats. 

Most of the captains I know aren't booking trips.  Several haven't even re-upped their insurance this year.  Those that are fishing, are fishing inside the islands.  Considering that oil has been found coating the seafloor 20 miles south of the beach (just south of the islands), there isn't any wonder why. 

There are dead creatures still washing up to this day and no one knows why because the research is only now just beginning.  So many sick fish are being caught that a new study just started to determine the cause. 

The media isn't reporting on the aftermath because it's too "controversial".  So here we sit, basically cut off from everyone...

The media covers the hi-jinx of the celebretards and the REAL news is being shoved to the back burner, if not completely off the stove.  There is a pile of Hurricane Katrina renewal news here, BP oil leak news there, Japan radiation news drips off the side of the stove and the current flood information slides down the wall...all forgotten.  Instead I hear about Weinergate, Arnie's extramarital affairs, and who has/had a drug problem that cause(d) issues in their PERSONAL life.  Personally, I don't give a rat's ass about any of it. 

It is truly sad that, in order to chase down news that matters, I have to go to alternative news sites and backtrack to the articles published by scientists, lawyers, and others in the know. 

People, like you and me, are posting videos, of the things going on down here, to YouTube because no one gives a sh*t.  YouTube has become the new investigative reporting site.  Wanna know what is actually going on in the world?  Go surf the site.  There are people from all over the world posting updates on the news that gets thrown off the stove.  Sure, you have to use a little common sense to weed out the spoofers and kooks but; you have to do that, anywhere.

I am having a hard time finishing my proposal because I have to re-read the articles and look at all of the pictures, again.  I relive all of it again...

I am frankly sick to my stomach dealing with all of this.  To make matters worse, those that know the system are using it to their advantage, stealing from those of us that were actually affected by the whole thing.  Those that are screaming, "WOOHOO!" are those that have taken advantage of the situation.  It's all very Katrinaesque, and I hope that they catch all of them.  May they rot in jail. 

The hardest part of this whole thing is my research is showing that things are not right down here and it may be for a long while, if ever, before it will be back to "normal".  Exxon-Valdez is a prime example.  Twenty-five + years later oil still comes ashore, fishing hasn't returned to Prince William Sound, and the only reason litigation has stopped is because there was such an uproar when people found out (because of the BP scenario) that those people were still waiting...most of them died waiting. 

I fear the same thing will happen here.  Those that cleaned up the oil in Alaska have, for the most part, died from illness caused by the oil and the Corexit they used to "disperse" the oil.  Many people are sick down here, not that the media is talking about it.  There have been reports of skin problems, respiratory issues, internal organ maladies...etc.  My husband and I have sinus problems that arrived with the oil stench and hasn't been resolved, over a year later.  We are taking allergy meds everyday just to be able to breathe.  The meds clear the airways but do nothing for the "atomic" (hard, crusty, bloody) boogers or the constant drainage.  Most days, everyone sounds like they should be in a TB ward.  Coughing, sniffling, hacking...

BP wants to hurry everyone one along *nothing to see here folks* to avoid the majority of expenses.  A federal judge just mandated that the tax payer is responsible for the rest of the clean-up.  Yep, you and me are going to pay for the clean-up of BP's mess.  Yep, you and me.  On the plus side, the politicos are making sure that at least 80% of the minimal fines BP pays go toward the Gulf States.  Let's hope they use it wisely.

A way of life is dying a slow painful death.  We fish for recreation.  We fish for monetary gain.  We fish for sustenance.  Sometimes, we do all three.  Trade and barter lives on.  How do you put a monetary figure on the groceries you were saved from buying, the car repairs you traded for, the help you gave to a family in need,  or all the other multitude of things?  How do you put a monetary value on the loss of a whole way of life?  How do you put a monetary value on life?  wellness?  Somehow, we have to. 

I have to figure out all this without knowing the answers to a lot of questions.  Why have 379, and counting, dolphins died.  Why are fish coming up with lesions, fin-rot, and other diseases?  Why have 438, and counting, turtles come ashore dead, dying, or sick?  What will be the future affects of the oil and dispersant be as it moves up the food web?  Will people get sicker?  Will there be an increase of birth defects, spontaneous abortions, and infertility?  What affect will the methane that escaped along with the oil have?  For that matter how much oil has escaped?  Is it still seeping from the seafloor as it was reported?  What will happen when, God forbid, a tropical storm/hurricane comes ashore?

I have lots of questions and very few answers. Any answers I find lead to more questions.

???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Wish me luck as I delve deeper into my proposal and pray I don't lose what marbles I have...